Breaking the Stereotype and being “Absolutely Wrong Women”

 According to the Cambridge English dictionary this is how it defines the word “female”: belonging or relating to women, or the sex that can give birth to young or produce eggs. Is that all about being a female; kind of an individual who can give birth or produce eggs? Is that the only identity we have? Then what about the women who can never give a birth to a child or the one who medically infertilite. Are they never considering as “females”? I think being a woman is something more than biology, and maybe it even goes beyond critically looking at gender as a social construct. 

In an unexpected moment from an unexpected person I received this statement that “you are an absolutely wrong women”. Even though its just 6 words, the depth hit the deepest point of the heart and started echoing in my mind continuously asking the same question from myself. “Am I? Absolutely wrong women… to whom? In which way? Then who am I?” I understood the gravity of those words and the impact on one individual can create to another using terrible words intentionally or unknowingly.

Although the women are way more active in the workforce and also in working environment, most of us still believe that women thrive solely on feminine jobs that involve giving birth to a baby, taking care of children, health, beauty, culinary work and managing household specially the kitchen.

Stereotypes about women are deeply embedded in our culture. They permeate every aspect of our communication with one another: being a teenage girl, being a girlfriend, sibling, wife, mother, grandmother, working women, dress sense, education, her freedom, her duties, her responsibilities…..… you name it. It doesn’t take long before they wiggle their way into our minds, and from there they sneak into our stories. From nature we humans are very lazy. That is the main reason why stereotypes are flourishing and passing from one person to another… one society to another and one generation to another.  These created pictures or imaginary scenarios always allow us to take mental shortcuts when we need to make judgment and decision about women.  So when we meet a women we always use their appearance, behavior or the other obvious characteristics to compare them with the mental picture we have and in most of cases we jump into false imaginations of what she is without actually putting an effort to find who she is.

She is wearing glasses so she must be socially awkward, she is fat …gosh how she is going to find a man, she has no fashion sense must be nerd, she talk like a boy no decency, her dress is too short might be characterless, she is having a tattoo like prostitute, she has lot of boyfriends might be a supper catch, she is too educated ohh sure she is going through a very unsuccessful marriage, she is not wearing a her wedding ring ohh seems problems in her marriage… those are few of many stereotypes that are portrayed in our society.

In this new level of popular culture women represent a different role. A more important and much serious role than before. Being educated, representing managerial roles in corporate world, being independent, free thinking and looking around with open eyes is not a crime. It’s just breaking the stereotypes. So how come those women becoming absolutely wrong? Yes they are absolutely wrong for the men, women or for societies where still living with that stereotype attitudes but not for the people who moves with positive changes.  I am sure most of today’s ladies have been probably been discriminated against, or treated differently, at some point in their life because of a stereotype that was long ago applied to our culture. For some, I perceive it may be worse than others.

From the time we are born, from the cultural backgrounds we are coming from, we are taught or groomed how to behave like a boy or as a girl. Boys are supposed to be tough, encourage to never show fear, and to never express emotions. They are taught to be brave, strong and to be independent while girls are taught to be well-mannered, proper, and always say thank you and please. As a result girls grow up believing they are meant to become a housewife and mother, taking care of the children, need to be a dependent of a strong man while tending to the house. Therefore most women are stereotyped as weak, emotional and need to be supported while men are considered the idols. Because of this stereotype, many women struggle with activities that they are excluded and/or discouraged from. In the modern era, stereotypes seem to be the way people justify and simplify the society.

Therefore while dumping those culturally defined ideas about being women I think it’s good to be absolutely wrong women no matter how society defines you. Because all cultures, all communities prefer kind of a class of people over others. All those years I had a pretty good idea about growing up, be independent one day and playing a role as I always dreamed. For that, all the women I knew and all strong ladies around me played a very strong role models. They all had something common same time something different which made them unique from each other.  Today standing in this messed up society when I am looking back I am seriously wondering how the hell they made that. We never want to be a men or never want to compare ourselves with men. Men is men and we should appreciate them all the time for what they do because there are things they do which we cant.… yet women should be appreciated… appreciated ourselves too for what we do which all men can’t do.   It’s tough… absolutely difficult… and un-explainable to be an absolutely wrong women.